How have you changed my life?

Dear little ones,

I think a better question might be, "How have you NOT changed my life?"!!  Wouldn't this make a great sci-fi novel......what would life have been like in a different space/time-continuum?! 

I can only imagine how I might have gone on through life, perhaps always working in a full-time career, knowing nothing of the precious, powerful sweet smell and feel of newborns cuddling up on their mama after a satisfying nursing, never having the strings of my heart pulled in the pleasure/pain lurch of seeing your first real smiles bloom from your souls, or hearing each of you call me "mama" in your first verbal, eternal expression of our love!!!

There is a saying that a mother's children are just her heart, walking around outside of her body.  It is so true.  Had I stayed childless, I'm sure God would have filled my life with Himself, just as He has now, and I'm sure I would not have known what I was missing and would have been content, if that was the sort of life to which He had called me.

But it was not, and my whole being SINGS with JOY in this child-filled life He has given me!!  I have learned some of the greatest lessons of life through raising and loving all of you, and through my failures with you too. 

It was, and is, my heart's desire to have you.  It changed EVERYTHING FOREVER.  I would not have it any other way!!!  Was it hard, and painful to raise all of you at times?  Yes.  But I wouldn't trade a single breath of my life for one moment of relief from any of that, because you ARE my life!!  You are my pride-and-joys, the songs-in-my-heart, the twinkle in my eye, the spring in my step!!!  You are my youth repeated, my dreams lived-out, and most of all, truly, my 4 little hearts walking around in the world, with strings tied into my own heart that can never be broken.

love, Mama

What is Love, and How Do I See it Expressed in You?

Dear Little Ones,

Yesterday, I actually answered Question # 151 from the Fridayletters site....I just grabbed it and answered it, as it was Bev's latest post, and I wanted to jump in and get started.  But starting today, I will answer the questions going clear back to #1, and do them in order.  It may not matter, but I don't want to miss any.  I will also no doubt throw in some posts prompted by my own, or other peoples' ideas.

Love is God.  So as He lives in you, everything in you that is not love is gradually brought to your awareness as circumstances designed to do this are brought about by our Lord.  You are given the gift of conviction arising from your healthy conscience, and then are drawn and wooed by God to come and receive another gift of love, which is repentance.  He does this in keeping with your desire to know Him, and your ability to handle it, always revealing things to you a little at a time, gently and patiently.  Love waits and endures.  Though we are far from perfect, and so full of self and faults, He tenderly shepherds us, holding us close as His little lambs in the journey, carefully protecting our souls from harm.  Any "love" apart from God has selfish roots, and is not love.  Ask yourself, "Who does my love serve?"  And, "What is the fruit I desire...to glorify and satisfy God, or.....something/someone else?"  These are good tests.  All real love for other people is of God, and not self.  It is without condition.  It reacts with peace and joy even when humiliated.  It is unshakable.  It accepts all as from the Hand of God, and therefore knows that He plans to work it to the good of our souls, no matter how terrible any event is.  Love employs suffering as an agent of purification.  Surrender to Love (God) whenever you suffer, and He will raise you up!!  Following Love is the only way to know who you really are.

How do I see it expressed in you?  Each time you act unselfishly toward each other or me or your Dad, the times you put someone else's desires ahead of your own, whenever you have served another person, or planned good for them.  I see it in your creativity, your intelligence, and your talents,....all parts of you given directly from God.  Each look of true sorrow on your face for something wrong you did, or on behalf of another.  I see love in your sparkling laughter, so like Jesus!!  Your times of eager learning, and unfolding ideas are lovely glimpses of who Love is drawing you out to become!

Goomy, I see love in your extreme generosity toward all, in your true repentances, your honesty and creativity.

Tinkin, I see love in your kind shepherding of Bobby and Sonnet, in your love of all things God made, in your willingness to look at God.

Minkin, I see love in you each time you tenderly pick Sonnet up and hold her, in your protection of her, in your growing willingness to hear God over self.

Deedle, I see love in your gentleness, in your desire to be humble, and the many little acts of service you do out of kindness.

Becoming a conduit of God's love as expressed through the unique personalities He has given us is truly a worthy goal for us all!

love, always, Mama