How have you changed my life?

Dear little ones,

I think a better question might be, "How have you NOT changed my life?"!!  Wouldn't this make a great sci-fi novel......what would life have been like in a different space/time-continuum?! 

I can only imagine how I might have gone on through life, perhaps always working in a full-time career, knowing nothing of the precious, powerful sweet smell and feel of newborns cuddling up on their mama after a satisfying nursing, never having the strings of my heart pulled in the pleasure/pain lurch of seeing your first real smiles bloom from your souls, or hearing each of you call me "mama" in your first verbal, eternal expression of our love!!!

There is a saying that a mother's children are just her heart, walking around outside of her body.  It is so true.  Had I stayed childless, I'm sure God would have filled my life with Himself, just as He has now, and I'm sure I would not have known what I was missing and would have been content, if that was the sort of life to which He had called me.

But it was not, and my whole being SINGS with JOY in this child-filled life He has given me!!  I have learned some of the greatest lessons of life through raising and loving all of you, and through my failures with you too. 

It was, and is, my heart's desire to have you.  It changed EVERYTHING FOREVER.  I would not have it any other way!!!  Was it hard, and painful to raise all of you at times?  Yes.  But I wouldn't trade a single breath of my life for one moment of relief from any of that, because you ARE my life!!  You are my pride-and-joys, the songs-in-my-heart, the twinkle in my eye, the spring in my step!!!  You are my youth repeated, my dreams lived-out, and most of all, truly, my 4 little hearts walking around in the world, with strings tied into my own heart that can never be broken.

love, Mama

What is wisdom?

Dear little ones,

Of course we know that the beginning of wisdom is to fear God.  These verses are perfect:

Ps 25:12-14 (NEB) If there is any man who fears the Lord, he shall be shown the path that he should choose; he shall enjoy lasting prosperity, and his children after him shall inherit the land. The Lord confides his purposes to those who fear him, and his covenant is theirs to know.

Prov 14:26-27 (NIV) He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge. The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, turning a man from the snares of death.

Ps 34:9 (NEB) Fear the Lord, all you his holy people; for those who fear him lack nothing.

Prov 19:23 (NEB) The fear of the Lord is life; he who is full of it will rest untouched by evil.

I used to say that fearing God was just reverencing Him.  That was before I met Him face to face in my sin.  There are no words to describe the holiness and majesty of almighty God!!!!!!  The absolute power, the purity, the active, living LOVE that He is......which threw me on my face in trembling fear, absolutely!!!  Oh, the shattering reality, the terrifying conviction of one word from God!!!!  Why would I want to worship Him otherwise, if He were not these things, and so much more?  He is GOD!!!!!  And He is MY God!!!

But the fear of God is only the BEGINNING of wisdom.  It must be by this revelation, this gift from God......this moment of perfect mental health alone (fearing God) that we are able to ENTER by seeing our need, and thus receive our remedy.  Once we begin to walk with Him, resting in His peace and love, we begin to wonder......., what is the middle, and the end of wisdom?

It is no less wonderful and amazing!  It is the actual 3-in-1 Person of Jesus Christ and God the Father, living in us as the Holy Spirit....that same God Who formed the universe ("uni" = one; "verse" = word)!!  We begin to see how He IS wisdom, and how that is only a part of Who He is!  Then we begin to perceive that He wants to give us EVERYTHING that He is for free, for EVER!!!!  All of a sudden, all our other fears, nightmares, stresses, worries, etc. become like microscopic specs on the ground, because we know that the God of eternal love has married us and has the power and desire to achieve perfect intimacy with us, as we are held in His deepest heart.......where we are forever out of the reach of Satan and other fears!  So then, it is LOVE.  We are like the seed, buried in the dirt; a dark place of fear, but necessary!  The love of God pulls us out and upward!

Man's wisdom is so silly compared to Him.  No, a better word is FOOLISH.  I will add ARROGANT.  But unless we begin to fear God, we are absolutely taken in by it, and can't see that we have been fooled at all.  We have only ourselves to blame, for we freely gave ourselves to sin and darkness, especially darkness of the mind.

My precious little ones, just step into the Light!!  Don't be satisfied to remain hidden behind a wall, peeking around the corner.  Ask God to show you how to fear Him!  I promise you He will do it, and you will never be the same!

love, Mama

What is friendship? What does Jesus say that it is?

Dear little ones,

"Greater love has no man than this; that a man lay down his life for his friends."  John 15:13

I am perhaps not the person most qualified to talk about friendship.  My friends have always taken a back seat to my homelife.  That may seem good, but there were times when I neglected them for the sake of pursuing things that were not good.  I count you among my friends, as well as my children!  You are my BEST friends!!

Turning to Jesus, Who is all Truth and Wisdom, (and our BEST FRIEND!!) let's explore something about friendship.  In the verse above, I notice in every version of the Bible I could find online except one,  that Jesus does not say the words "give up", but instead says "lay down".  It is also interesting that the Greek word, (psuche), translated here in this New Testament verse as "life", is actually found more often in the N.T. translated as "soul".  Therefore, I believe that the word could be translated correctly to say "soul-life" (the will, mind, emotions), which differentiates it from "spirit-life" (what you get when you become born-again as your spirit comes alive to receive the Holy Spirit!), or just plain physical life. 

So, to sum up so far, we don't give up our soul-life, but lay it down.  To lay it down, hints at surrender and submission.  This is FAR HARDER than just giving up our physical life in a moment of sacrifice!!  This means I don't get my way!!  This means I need to "do unto my friend as I would like to have done unto me"!!  It means that when I am angry, tired, mistreated, inconvenienced, mocked, or deprived of dessert(!), I must still love my friend in this most difficult way.  It seems impossible even in daily life, as we all know from some of the "bad" days we've had!!

Here's another verse to consider:  "Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life (psuche) for us: and we ought to lay down our lives (psuche) for the brethren" (1 Jn. 3:16).

Uh-Oh.  There's that "ought to" I talked about in the last post!  I like to look at this Scripture this way:  Jesus not only died for us, but He also laid down His life for us.  He came as a servant, submitting even to death on the cross, but also humbled Himself to everyone!  He was the only truly unselfish Person Who ever lived!

So then, we "ought to" lay down what we want, and live unselfish servant-lives for our friends.  Only through the power of God is this possible at all.  His grace is there to draw on every moment, and is utterly sufficient to enable us to live His "laid-down life" here on earth.  Now comes the deepest truth:  Only your will has the power to stop the flow of His grace.....it is the sluice gate, whether open or shut.

love, Mama

What is security? What comforted you?

Dear little ones,

When you were little, you all reached up to me (or Dad, Grandma, etc.) so sweetly whenever anything troubled you.  I held you in my arms, pressed close, rocked you, sang to you, and just loved you!  Some of you sucked on your fingers, (Shasta, the middle two; Summer, the first two), one loved his binky (hmmm, wonder who?!), and one her thumb (yep, Sonnet!).  You each had beloved stuffed animals and "bankies" to sleep with.  My heart lurched in my chest whenever I looked at how precious you were asleep in your crib!!  I memorized those moments, forever.  I was and am so glad God gave you to me to love, and to provide security to.

Security is the love of God, and for little ones, it is also in the love of those who care for you.  This is true whether we feel it or not.  Children learn to have confidence in their parents over many months of being loved and cared for.  We choose whether we have faith and confidence in God.  As long as you look to God every day, placing all your trust in Him alone, you can not be shaken!  Perhaps it will surprise you to know that the only thing that can threaten your security is yourself.  The moment you stop looking to God, you reclaim sovereignty over your own heart and soul, embarking on a path of your own.  God warns you, in your conscience immediately to return to Him.  If you do not, the inevitable process will begin, where you must "repay every penny", through tears and hard knocks, all the way back down that rebellious trail back to God.  He loves you so much He will always do this for you.  THAT is security! 

Another consequence of trying to sit on the throne of your own heart (instead of God sitting there), is confusion, a feeling of being scattered, overwhelmed, dissipated, worried.  Whenever you feel this way, you know you removed your eyes from Him.  He never requires you to do more than you are able, and His ways are restful, peaceful, simple, and clear.

It may help to make a list of "ioughtas".  Okay, I'll translate!  Make a list of "I ought to's".  Mine has things on it like "I ought to......spend time with God first each day, keep the house clean and dinner planned, pay attention to my diet/exercise principles, pay off my debts, give some time to my elderly friends/neighbors, small time for internet, large time for kids!"  Most things on your list will be things that the Spirit has convicted you to do, (or not do, like overeating).  It really is that easy, that simple!  Just follow God in these simple ways each day and you will know His peace......and His security!  Never worry about the "gaps" in what you might not get to.  God knows that in the little time we have to live, we can only do a little.  He is pleased if we follow Him, by doing what He places in our hearts to do, one thing at a time!

Love, Mama

What is ability or talent? How do I see it expressed in you?

Dear Little Ones,

Abilities, talents, bents, qualities, inclinations, gifts, heart's desires.....are all seeds that have been put into your heart by God, which with nurturing, time and attention will grow into the very unique persons that you are designed to be!  Do not doubt that God, Who knew you before He ever made the world, and planned on how to save you before the first sin ever happened (by dying for you!).....has certainly placed into your hearts all that is needed for you to become a work of art!!!!  It has been His intent for every human ever born!  That being a "given", let me look into each of you and say what I see, as far as God has revealed it to me.  It won't be in any kind of order, nor will it be comprehensive.....just the first few I think of.  I know God has not revealed everything to me, and more will develop in each of you as you grow!

[Since other people may end up reading this, I guess I'd better call you by your given names, instead of my little pet names for you.....but that will be the only nod I give to them.....everything I write is written from my heart to yours!]

Shasta:  You have music creation, both instrumental and voice, management, leadership, compassion, generosity, thoughtfulness, verbal and written expression, artistic expression, teaching, vision, persistence, determination, humor, and strength.  You see the overall picture and your vision gives you exact knowledge of what must be done to arrive at amazing goals that are already greatly enhancing peoples' lives. 

Summer:  You have organization, scientific thought process, attention to detail, persistence, determination, compassion, thoughtfulness, musical ability, divergent thinking, kindness, physical athletic ability, loyalty, inventiveness, understanding/love of God's creation.  You see the details that others miss, and have the capacity to discover deep truths in the natural world that have not yet been known/expressed.

Bobby:  You have great physical/athletic ability, musical ability, scientific thought process, the beginnings of global/historic understanding, 3-D thinking, inventiveness, humor (to the point of being "comedian" funny!), compassion, a desire to help others, an ability to see truth.  You think deeply and see needs and possibilities that may inspire you to make real differences in peoples' lives.

Sonnet:  You have kindness, thoughtfulness, divergent thinking, musical ability, humor, verbal and written expression, gentleness, love for God's creatures, a deep desire to record life through pictures/video, a willingness to serve, artistic expression.  Your ability to record what you see and know may help many people in the future to see things they never dreamed of.

love, Mama

What is Love, and How Do I See it Expressed in You?

Dear Little Ones,

Yesterday, I actually answered Question # 151 from the Fridayletters site....I just grabbed it and answered it, as it was Bev's latest post, and I wanted to jump in and get started.  But starting today, I will answer the questions going clear back to #1, and do them in order.  It may not matter, but I don't want to miss any.  I will also no doubt throw in some posts prompted by my own, or other peoples' ideas.

Love is God.  So as He lives in you, everything in you that is not love is gradually brought to your awareness as circumstances designed to do this are brought about by our Lord.  You are given the gift of conviction arising from your healthy conscience, and then are drawn and wooed by God to come and receive another gift of love, which is repentance.  He does this in keeping with your desire to know Him, and your ability to handle it, always revealing things to you a little at a time, gently and patiently.  Love waits and endures.  Though we are far from perfect, and so full of self and faults, He tenderly shepherds us, holding us close as His little lambs in the journey, carefully protecting our souls from harm.  Any "love" apart from God has selfish roots, and is not love.  Ask yourself, "Who does my love serve?"  And, "What is the fruit I desire...to glorify and satisfy God, or.....something/someone else?"  These are good tests.  All real love for other people is of God, and not self.  It is without condition.  It reacts with peace and joy even when humiliated.  It is unshakable.  It accepts all as from the Hand of God, and therefore knows that He plans to work it to the good of our souls, no matter how terrible any event is.  Love employs suffering as an agent of purification.  Surrender to Love (God) whenever you suffer, and He will raise you up!!  Following Love is the only way to know who you really are.

How do I see it expressed in you?  Each time you act unselfishly toward each other or me or your Dad, the times you put someone else's desires ahead of your own, whenever you have served another person, or planned good for them.  I see it in your creativity, your intelligence, and your talents,....all parts of you given directly from God.  Each look of true sorrow on your face for something wrong you did, or on behalf of another.  I see love in your sparkling laughter, so like Jesus!!  Your times of eager learning, and unfolding ideas are lovely glimpses of who Love is drawing you out to become!

Goomy, I see love in your extreme generosity toward all, in your true repentances, your honesty and creativity.

Tinkin, I see love in your kind shepherding of Bobby and Sonnet, in your love of all things God made, in your willingness to look at God.

Minkin, I see love in you each time you tenderly pick Sonnet up and hold her, in your protection of her, in your growing willingness to hear God over self.

Deedle, I see love in your gentleness, in your desire to be humble, and the many little acts of service you do out of kindness.

Becoming a conduit of God's love as expressed through the unique personalities He has given us is truly a worthy goal for us all!

love, always, Mama

Are We Always Given What We Need?

Dear Little Ones,

From the beginning, God has provided us with exactly what we need, always.

He has also provided His own needs, which include children with a free will.  Free will enables love to operate.....otherwise, we'd just be programmed robots, and not children at all, and incapable of loving God, or each other.  Forced or programmed love is not love, but selfishness on the part of the enforcer.  God is love, and love is only genuine as a gift.  Isn't it wonderful that God made us able to give ourselves to Him and eachother as a gift?!

Every circumstance is given as provision for our needs.  Even the bad ones.  With them, we are bent, broken, shaped, educated, and formed into the persons we are meant to be.  With them, we are given opportunities to surrender, each day, to God, Who knows exactly what is needed to remove self/sin, and grow personality.  Look at them as a journey into spiritual health, which dictates every other kind of health.  Trust God to take you on your journey.

You have watched me go on mine for a long time.  You've seen me rail and rebel, slide backwards, fail, and fall.  You've also seen the infinite grace of God move me forward whenever I surrendered!  It is only with His grace that we can surrender at all, but it is sufficient for us!  My failures caused God great pain, and also affected you in bad ways.  But we are talking about the God of "more than all we can ask or imagine"!!  And He is able to give us back the life He had intended for us, no matter how much we have failed!  THAT is PROVISION, and THAT is LOVE!!

Lord, bless us and teach us to love You, and one another.

Love, Mama